Session 12: The one where Jude betrays Jesus Christ (February 22, 2023)
Last session, the party continued their conversation with Joshy, better known by his ring name “Jesus Christ”. He recognized the “B. Mary” who purchased the Bands of Loyalty as Bloody Mary, the owner and operator of Arkos Combat Entertainment, or ACE. Joshy informed the party that she cares deeply about the organization and putting on a show, and so if they can win tonight’s Labyrinth of Death they may have a chance to speak with her and gather information to further their quest. Joshy asked them to join his team, “The Apostles”, as the other three members had fallen suddenly ill and would be unable to compete with him tonight.
The party learned that the “warehouses” in the Heights serve less as locations to store goods and more as legal loopholes to lower the taxes on residents of Arkos-proper. As long as trades take place in the warehouses in the Heights, those trades will be taxed on the residents of the Heights, no matter who was involved in the trades themselves.
The party decided to investigate the warehouses. There they witnessed a transaction between two groups, with another “official observer” present to produce records for all involved. Elias learned that these records are kept in a building in the warehouse district, and that they are used for tax purposes as well as to resolve disputes between the parties present.
Returning to the Circle, the party prepared for the Labyrinth of Death. Heph and Rormir drank jugs of Wormwood, a substance like white wine which Joshy had produced by mixing powder into water. Rormir questioned Joshy’s commitment to caring for people while being in the business of hurting people for money, something he didn’t have much of a response for.
The party entered the stadium wearing costumes they had purchased earlier. Heph was now going by the ring name “Thor”, Elias by “Mace Windu”, and Rormir by “Bat Person”. After their opponents “The Helions” were announced, a giant maze appeared and they entered it. We return to the action after they have dodged traps, acquired a Potion of Growth and a Potion of Fire Breath, and gotten through an electrified door…
- The labyrinth continues
- Elias catches up to Heph, looks for traps but can’t
tell what’s there
- Moves ahead anyway, and can’t tell what the crowd thinks
- Heph continues on, sees a few dead ends, and goes down the only open path
- The crowd seems to think he’s going the wrong way but that doesn’t make sense
- Rormir dashes ahead
- Joshy dashes to catch up
- Elias leap-frogs over Joshy and does a front-flip, the
crowd gets excited
- He runs ahead a bit and spots a trap
- Heph runs ahead and can’t tell what the crowd thinks
- Rormir catches up to Elias, and checks what the crowd thinks of where he’s pointing
- The crowd seems to like going straight south
- Joshy continues to play catch up
- Elias runs to the next intersection and checks in with the crowd,
who wants him to turn east
- Tries to feign touching a pressure plate he noticed on the ground and almost actually touches it
- Heph dashes to catch up
- Rormir checks for traps and hidden potions, then catches up to everyone
- Joshy continues his sprint to catch up
- Elias dodges the pressure plates while trying to do some fancy
cartwheels and flips
- Doesn’t quite manage it and lands on a pressure plate
- A circular saw blade shoots out and slices him across the shoulder
- Gets to an intersection, but the audience seems to be no longer paying
attention after the saw incident
- He checks for traps and items, but doesn’t see anything new
- Heph successfully gets feedback from the audience and heads south at the fork
- Rormir catches up, but can’t tell if there are any traps
- Elias checks for traps again, there actually aren’t any
- Heph dashes ahead
- Rormir catches up, and spots a potion in the wall
- Joshy catches up, again
- Elias swipes the potion, it’s got a jellyfish in it
- Joshy identifies it as a Potion of Water Breathing
- Elias runs ahead and sees a deep, dark pool of water at least 30ft
deep behind a low wooden barrier
- There are walls in the water that require swimming under about 5ft, and a tentacle in the water reaching out to grab Elias
- He gets grappled, but manages to drink the potion first
- Heph tries to climb the wall, and falls off
- Joshy says not to do that, they have archers that will try to shoot you if you do
- Heph then shoots a Fire Bolt at the tentacle
- It hits, but it’s not super effective as it’s under water
- Rormir manages to shoot the tentacle with an arrow, and it slices the tentacle in two, releasing Elias
- Joshy swims ahead, and gets grabbed by another tentacle
- Elias grabs the tentacle stub as it recedes, and drags him down
- He can’t see anything, but comes to rest against a large squishy body of some kind
- He stabs it pretty good, and it releases Joshy
- Elias tries to hide in a dark corner, and manages to do so without being observed
- Heph jumps in and just books it to the other side, makes it almost all the way across
- Rormir swims part way across and tries to charm the tentacle
monster with Animal Friendship
- It works
- He convinces it to let them through and that they won’t hurt it, it retracts the tentacles and reaches one up to give Rormir a hug
- Rormir names it “Karrl” and gives it a hug back
- Joshy pops out, the crowd cheers, but starts booing when he heads east, so he heads south
- On a nat 20 Elias notices Rormir cast a spell, and
the giant octopus seems to calm down quite a bit
- Elias also notices 7 gems tucked in next to the octopus and takes them
- These gems are 1 citrine, 2 zircon, 1 quartz, 1 star rose quartz, and 2 chalcedony
- He then swims away, hiding the gems in his pockets as he does so
- He runs down the hallway to the south, and sees a wooden door with a golden
sphinx at the end of the hallway
- The sphinx comes to life, and says in the worst voice:
Riddle me this, riddle me that! A challenge I have for you! Riddle me these, riddle me those, t’will test you through and through!
Answer me these riddles three, and pass right through you shall! Thrice wrong though and find yourself sent straight to hell! Hee hee hee hee!!!!
- Elias gets real excited about the riddle
- Heph comes up behind Elias and sees no traps
- Rormir and Joshy both walk up to the door
- Elias walks up to the door, and asks the sphinx for the first
riddle, which is “Arthur’s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle, and _____?”
- Heph gets it wrong (“Pop”), and its eyes turn red and it tells them two more incorrect answers and they’ll die in a deep threatening voice
- Rormir figures out that the answer is “Arthur”, and they have solved one riddle
- Heph moves closer, and asks for the next riddle, which is “A doctor and a carriage driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The carriage driver had to go on a long carriage trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?”
- They must answer the next riddle correctly or they’ll die
- The next riddle is “I am something people love or hate. I change people’s appearances and thoughts. If a person takes care of them self I will go up even higher. To some people, I will fool them. To others, I am a mystery. Some people might want to try and hide me but I will show. No matter how hard people try I will Never go down. What am I?”
- Rormir realizes the door is pretty fragile, and instead of
answering the last riddle tries to just break through the door
- The sphinx is not happy about it, but the crowd is absolutely loving it
- It seems the crowd was getting bored and confused with the riddle door
- Joshy walks up and smashes the door with his hammer
- Elias sneaks up to the door and tries to pick it open
- Fails under the pressure
- Heph shoots a Fire Bolt, the door burns a little but is still hanging on somehow
- Rormir misses wildly with his dagger
- Joshy smashes the hinges, and the door falls over, and the crowd
goes wild
- Elias points out an error in the riddle, and the sphinx inset screams and bursts into flame
- They run through the next section of the labyrinth and come across the Helions
- After a brief friendly exchange, they debate getting into a fight
- The party wants to team up for now and maybe turn on each other later
- The Helions decide that two of them should try and block the party while the other two move further down the labyrinth
- A fight begins
- Elias hides and looks for traps, but doesn’t see any
- Heph moves up and shoots a Fire Bolt at Husa
- She’s looking pretty damaged, but she’s still standing
- Rormir shoots at Husa but misses
- Joshy runs up and tries to smash Husa, but misses
- Husa smashes Joshy back and hits pretty hard
- Hena tries to follow but misses
- Elias maneuvers through the group and sneak attacks Husa
- With a non-lethal stab, she goes down
- Elias hides behind the wall, but the audience really enjoyed the takedown and he heals a bit after a successful performance check
- Heph launches off another Fire Bolt, and Hena is looking fairly hurt
- Rormir shoots her with his bow, she falls to one knee and looks about ready to fall over completely
- Joshy misses with his hammer again
- Hena runs up to Rormir and smacks him hard in the face
- Elias sneaks up and stabs Hena in the back non-lethally, she goes down
- Hema and Hera, who were sneaking ahead to the center of the labyrinth, are intimidated and say it’s maybe best to work together
- Elias searches the downed fighters and finds 6 gold in total
- They head to the center of the labyrinth
- They see a dwarf standing there
- Joshy looks at the man, surprised, and says “Jude?”
- Jude says:
Well, hello boss. Are you surprised to see me?
I guess these are your replacements for the apostles. I’m impressed you managed to find anyone on such short notice, even weaklings like this. The apostles aren’t actually sick, by the way. Well, they are sick: of you! You set all of our careers back by refusing to play the game how it’s supposed to be played. Killing opponents would definitely get us more contracts, but that was too cruel for you. You’d rather make friends than make money. And your concern for the health of the fighters has been…inconvenient for Mary’s business.
So Mary came to me and offered me 3 gold and preferential treatment for the rest of my career if I eliminated you here and now. I said that wouldn’t be a problem. I was always the stronger one. But it wouldn’t be fair for it to be just me against you and your friends here. So Mary was kind enough to provide me with an ally.
- Just then the ground begins to rumble, and a hole opens up in the sand in
front of them
- A platform raises, revealing a cage containing a giant terrifying slug-like creature with tentacles and pincers
- It screeches as the cage falls open
